An Ode to the Chicken

Apparently one should never come crawling out of the bedroom, slity eyed, hair tussled, voice horse and throaty, and ask, “you wanna help me catch a chicken?”   For instead of translating into ‘I need help getting a chicken back into the fenced enclosure’  It becomes “I wanna kill that god damn mother f**kin rooster, and his doodle doodle too #*&^!!!! …. You wanna help??!’
I mean Gees!!! I’m not quite that mean first thing in the morning!  I mean I know I can look the part, but I’ve never truly murdered someone just for honking outside my window repeatedly, rhythmically without ceasing, for hours..!  (please note that ‘honk’ is an official term for what this hen does, as she runs around jabbing her head repeatedly though fencing trying to reenter her enclosure, through which, she had JUST triumphantly emerged from not a moment before! Stupid chickens.  Is now going back to bed.   #muttering insanities to self under breathe# – Nope!!!   on second thought… Now that I’m up, (evil grin, sing songy voice), “time for breakfast!!!”

 

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